My take on the Kyle Rittenhouse situation is that there’s a giant plasticky shit in my ass. I ate this four-cheese melt at IHOP this morning and all of the microplastics in the cheese were heated up in my intestines and became emulsified into my rectum. I can feel the cheese just sitting in there but it won’t come out of my ass. I got a side-salad to try and offset this, like to use the leaves as something like a chimney sweep for my colon, but I think it’s just building up on top of the cheese. I am going to shit eventually though so no worries.
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